Amygdala hijacking eased with the heart.
This connection between the heart and brain once understood and applied can change our perceptions of life and how life responds to us.
One formula I have used often is E+P+R=O and when I remember to apply this I find a deeper understanding of communication and what can happen that leads to disconnection to others.
Let me give an example. This was a conversation I had and went in direction that hurt myself and the other person. Lessons in intention and impact are amazing! I learned this many years ago. Our intentions can be well meaning, and we have no idea of how it impacts another, unless we ask.
E (event): received a phone call from family member. This person was crying and distraught.
P (perception): at first I could hear her fear and pain. I could have compassion for this person in this situation. Then this family member made a request. My perception went from compassion to resentment and judgment. Since this is a familiar pattern between us.
R (response): As I felt this reaction in me arising, my voice got louder and less compassionate. This triggered this person to react by hanging up. What I continue to learn is that others can feel our energies/vibrations, even when we say nothing. This is due to the heart’s ability to sense these vibrations, send the message to the brain, then back down to the body to “feel” it consciously .
O (outcome): their reaction to my energetics, created dysregulation in their system and this person hung up. I had to sit with the “sadness” of repeating a pattern once again.
So in reversing the formula I had a deeper understanding of what happened.
Outcome I desired was to connect and deeply listen without having the tendency to “fix” anything for this person. To truly listen to the pain, to be a space for that part of this person.
My reaction was inappropriate for this situation since it was linked to many things of the past. I could have paused and allowed my self to get coherent so I could see the pattern rather than react to it.
The perception I had when I went to my own heart, allowing myself to get coherent , what I heard was this person was frightened with all the possibilities of what was happening to them. Of course this person was scared, reality was in their face, one that they put off for over a year. Compassion and deep listening was needed, not judgments!
If I could have applied it in the moment , what I teach others, it could have shifted this event totally I am sure.
I have been doing this work in the world and within myself for years, and here I was again reacting rather than responding. My own lesson is even us professionals can be knocked off balance. In a group with colleagues the other day this Doctor said the same thing, she found herself yelling and reacting. Right now with all the uncertainty in the world, it can be easy to lose the capacity to self-regulate especially when it has emotional significance. Lesson learned;-)
We are all stressed at this time on planet earth. Some of us recognize this. For some this stress has become an adaptation so familiar to us that we don’t recognize it.
Slowing down, getting coherent, listening deeply, then responding honestly from your heart (or the higher self) can shift outcomes in relationships.
Practicing is what is needed. We are all human beings that lose it at times;-) Right now changes are happening at an accelerated pace which can throw our nervous systems out of balance. We all can create the heart-brain harmony that will serve us in remembering who we are a deeper intuition!
Compassionate latitude for ourselves and others is needed now more than ever before.
https:/heartmath.org – go to global coherent initiative (GCI). There is a free app to use.
