Being in relationship with others is how growth can happen.

The other day I met with some friends for dinner. We had not seen them in many months and it was such fun. We ate outside at a local Korean resturant. As we sat and dined I had to smile. I felt her husband looking at me as she said he was done eating and that they needed a box.

Our eyes met with that smile of acknowledgement and love for her “way” of being in the world. For me, the smile was the acknowledgment of the part of me that can be “controlling” of others behaviors. It was refreshing to see this, and also to acknowledge from the “inner heart” how much I have grown.

The fact that I could still see it, tells me I have some more inner work around the issue of “controlling” others or in the bigger frame, the world outside of me. Now I have been doing this kind of “awareness” training for years. Being able to see it and smile now at this part of me, signals me that I have befriended this part of me. 😉

After we dined we walked along the river. I purposely wore a pair of shoes that were comfortable many times, this time it was not the case. I strolled. My intention was to slow down, be mindful and heartfull of the beauty around me and the relationship with them.

I noticed her, being an extrovert for sure, engaging with everyone who passed her. I admire that deeply.

When I walk I like to stay very inward (introvert) noticing my breath, my body, my thoughts. I will say hello to others if they speak to me, however I don’t initiate this. Welcome it, don’t initiate it, unless my extrovert shows up.;-)

Well, I heard her say to my husband that when people don’t say hello back she feels this is rude! In that moment I wondered if I ever did that. When I speak and people don’t respond, do I do that also?

I wondered what that was for her. What feelings were up for her? What thoughts? What needs does she have to be acknowledged? These are the kinds of questions we can ask ourselves so we can come out of the judgments. I am practicing these days when I notice I am judging to remind myself “this is separation” and return to my heart to “love” what this relationship is showing me.

I believe, this is what relationships are truly for! We draw to us exactly where Spirit/God/Source wants us to grow using the person in front of you and me.

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