Getting in Sync matters!

Let’s begin with what it means to get in sync. It is a state in which two or more people or things move or happen together at the same time and speed. Just like two people can be in sync the same can happen in our nervous systems. We have two branches, the parasympathetic (brake)and the sympathetic (gas) and they can get out of sync also.

We have this magnificent nervous system, when stressed it gets out of sync. When this happens it can create a whole lot of imbalance, in our ANS, brain and hormonal systems, this is called autonomic dysregulation.

Here is a story of what happened to a young man when his system was out of sync. I was at an African/American/Black church for a funeral. This young man was Miming a beautiful dance with white gloves on, moving so freely to the gospel music in honor of his Uncle’s death.

I was totally in amazement of his performance. I had never seen anything like this before. It inspired such deep gratitude inside of me.

After the music was done, he sat down in the pew, next to his Mother. Within moments he got up, clutching his chest, fear on his face as he ran down the center isle of the church. His mom followed him. I noticed my daughter got up and ran after them. I sat for a moment or two asking my own heart for guidance on what to do. I heard “go” see if you can help.

I went out to the vestibule very calmly. He was laying on the floor in the fetal position, his mom was over him yelling “breathe, breathe, breathe”. For me, that kind of yelling would have freaked me out!!! My daughter was standing over the two of them on the floor. As I entered ,she looked at me with fearful eyes. I asked “can I help?”.

She picked him up off of the floor, twirled him around quite firmly and said “this is my mom, listen to her!”. I had never met this young black man before. Around me was other black men watching me. For a moment I also felt some apprehension to do what I do. Then I let that go, as I looked into the eyes of this scared young black man. He had no idea of what was happening in his body, or how to shift it.

I told him very calmly that his nervous system was out of sync, we need to put it back in sync. The sympathetic branch of his nervous was on!!! He was panicking. I put one hand on the back of his chest, behind his heart. The other hand on the front of his chest, over his heart. I could feel his heart racing wildly, pounding so hard and fast. I got real close to his ear, and said we are just going to put this back in sync for you, no worries.

As I spoke into his ear, I said “we are just going to breathe together. Let’s breathe into the count of 5 and out to the count of 5. ” I spoke directly into his ear. “Do it with me”. He began to follow my instructions. I could feel his heartbeat changing, slowing down, his lungs more at ease. We did this for about 2 minutes together. Then I invited him to “feel” some elevated feeling/emotion, like appreciation for anyone, anything, anytime in his life. I instructed him he had to “feel” this emotion. He chose appreciation for his dance and Uncle. Within moments I felt his body relax even more. As I looked into his eyes I could see he was okay. Of course as any 15 year old boy would do, he pushed me away quickly. Perhaps being that close to a white woman was a little freaky for him, or the proud 15 year old boy thing …I got this;-) kicked in.

As there was more space between us, and his nervous system was in sync again, he smiled and thanked me. I smiled back at him, gave him a high 5 and we parted.

I am grateful that I listened to my heart’s guidance to go be of service. I did see him downstairs with the family suggesting to remember the gift he gave himself in that moment to use his breath and heart to come back into balance.

How many times during this Covid experience did you find yourself in various states (anxiety, fear, worry, judgment, etc) all of which can create this imbalance in our own nervous systems?

Yes, it is a simple process, that is the beauty of it. It is simple and yet very effective when we are aware of what is going on inside of us, that could be creating our own nervous systems to get out of sync.

More later!

If I can support you in learning the skills to eloquently bring you nervous system/hormonal system back into balance please reach out.