Increasing your capacity for resilience
Since it seems I am on the subject of resiliency I thought I would share some things that you can personally do to increase your capacity!
At this time we are under increased amount of stress. Now remember the definition of stress? This is what happens in us when something we care about is being threatened. Think of what you care about, family, health, jobs, environment, food, fiancees , racism, old age, for me the myriad of conflicts around the world that threaten Peace.So, when you find yourself in a state of feeling stressed here are a few things that you can do:
- Put your hand on your heart, feel its beat, and breathe deeply. This releases oxytocin, which helps regulate and calm your fight/flight/freeze/appease system.
- Hug your best friend. A good long hug with someone you trust and love releases oxytocin to balance out the stress-related cortisol.
- Remember a time when you felt safe. Imagine being in the arms of someone you love and trust..or being out in nature. Close your eyes, pay attention to how your body responds. Focusing on this image can release oxytocin and start to calm your body.
- Write it down. When upset, write it down. By writing down (left brain) an experience that bothers you (right brain), you are strengthening connections between these two parts of the brain. This also gives you time to more fully process the event before reacting. This ensures that your rational side is involved so you can respond.
- Repeat a slogan. Slogans are meant to remind you of a larger teaching. Pick a few and post them all around to help you think and calm down before you react. I have them all around my house and car to re-mind me.
- Name the emotion. Some will say not to do this, but here we will. When emotions are overwhelming take a moment to name them. It gives you some emotional distance and the muscle needed to create a little bit of space so you don’t act out that emotion.
- Reframe your red lights. When stuck at a red light, do a body scan. How does it feel? Are there parts that are relaxed? Are there parts that are tight? If there is tension can you breathe into it? Can you send it love? In this way a red light or any other break in the day can become a tool for lowering your stress so it does not accumulate in your system.
- Take in the good. Each day write down 3 things that you are grateful for–explain why, this deepens your experience of them and has you stay there a little longer.
- Take a self-compassion break. When you notice you thoughts being self-critical or judgmental, it’s time for some compassion! The Buddhist way of doing this is “this, too is suffering”, “suffering is part of life”, or “may I be kind to myself and give myself the compassion I need”. Another one “may I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live my life with ease. May I be safe and free”. As you say these slowly truly let yourself “feel into them”.
